dankmemeuniversity:

spontaneousmusicalnumber:

A guest looking at the timber rattlesnake in the reptile exhibit: Do the snakes have names?

Me: (Launches into my speech about how No, they don’t even though the nonvenomous snakes do, because they’re wild animals and dangerous to handle. The reptile keeper is wary of over-familiarity becoming carelessness, so we don’t give them names as a mark of respect and a reminder of caution.) You can call them anything you want though!

Guest: Oh… That makes sense. I was going to say this one’s name should be Justin. You know, Justin Timbersnake?

Me: I am going into the reptile room this second and asking him to change the name policy

themonkeysnameisjack:

so when Zuko joins the Gaang and this happens:

he’s probably freaked out (rightfully so) but in the back of his mind he’s probably also thinking “worst comes to worst, I could probably fight her” until:

this happens and he’s like:

and immediately starts reevaluating every bender he’s ever met, thinking of every time Katara totally could’ve killed him, and is forever grateful that she has morals lol

bonus post war convo between Zuko and Azula:

wilwheaton:

No, it’s Becky.

kiwi:

anagram-robot:

redpandamemes:

I̖ ̸̳ͬh̼̦̐aͬ̋́͝v̴̨͖̮ḙ̶͠ ̭̈n̩o͉̘ͫ̍ ̴̩͔̘̟͌̒̆̆ẅ̩̚͟ȉ̢ͪl̀l ̸̢̣ͭ̈́t̴͚͘o͘͡ ͇͝l̺i̶͎͓v̬͟e͓͕ͯ̏ ͕ͥ

‘I will have to live on

- Anagram robot 0.6. I find anagrams for stuff. I know I don’t always make sense, but I’m getting better!

shotgunshay:

mjalti:

Since there’s so many dudes confused about how to ask out women…. if you’re a decent man & you want to ask a woman you don’t know out on a date in a non threatening manner, let me help you with literally the easiest way that most women will appreciate (this honestly stands true for if you’re a person who wants to ask a person you don’t know out, but like men especially).

Give her your number.

That’s it, that’s the whole trick. No Houdini. No weird conman games! Just walk up to her and say “hi I’m a person with a name, and I can’t help noticing how beautiful/kind/adjective you are. This is my phone number, if you’re free sometime I would love to take you out for coffee”. Then leave. And leave it at that. Compliment: given. Phone number: given. Interaction: complete.

I literally promise you, for a majority of single women, the most cool thing is a compliment & being hit on & being left alone all in one interaction. like trust me on this.

The key is Then leave it.

flork-of-cows-unofficially:

the greatest lie the devil ever told

snowylynxx:

i dont remember if i said this b4 but i think it would be super funny if gamefreak added a new normal type eeveelution that just evolves at level 45 or something and the pokedex entry is just “it took so long for scientists to discover this eevee evolution because no one has ever raised an eevee without it evolving into something else by accident”

patentlyabsurdrpgideas:

bookwyrmth1rt33n:

ekelarsons:

aggressivelycalm:

nubiana-americana:

revere-irreverence:

fbdbsgdg:

averagefairy:

working full time is terrible why do we just accept that having 8 days off a month is normal and okay…….. being alive could be cool but we waste it at our JOBS…. sorry i’m just heated about capitalism again i’ll be fine

8 days….never thought about it like that 😓

This seems really whiny to me. Like, I agree with you, work sucks, but our ancestors didn’t get to browse tumblr at their desks or have the option to gleefully spend their ENTIRE WEEKENDS horizontal on the couch stuffing their faces/watching tv/playing video games/wacking off.  They didn’t have weekends. They just slaved away as fucking peasants from dawn to dusk until they died in childbirth or got the consumption.

I am perfectly happy working 8 hrs a day because I don’t have to:

grow my own food

find my own clean water

heat my house

shit in the woods

Hi, I study social and cultural anthropology. Humans working 40+ hours a week is 100% an industrial revolution thing and was not normal in the early stages of our existence. In fact, hunter and gatherer societies that still exist to this day spend about 15-20 hours a week TOPS working. The rest is dedicated to sitting around and telling stories and jokes, dancing, singing, eating, sleeping, fucking and so forth. Read a damn book.

The average American worker takes less vacation time than a medieval peasant

Medieval peasants lived grueling, terrible lives. But their vacation days beat out the policies now common even in progressive societies.

Business Insider

🤔😬😡

When the medieval peasant - the iconic, screwed over, worst off person of pop culture - had more days and time off than you, something’s gone wrong. And apparently something has been wrong for a while now…

simplystormie:

knightofleo:

alaspoor-yorick:

iclassicscollection:

The Lord Of The Rings Tarot Cards
by Olga Levina

@mercutio-of-verona HOLY SHIT

cupofsorrows:

loveable-korrasami:

:

Japanese legend: you have the face of who you loved most in a past life

THE NEXT AVATAR ABOUT TO LOOK FINE AFFFFFF

Oh, so YOU guys can just see a face and be like “I like that face, I’m gonna make it my face” and everyone’s just COOL with that. But when I, Koh the Face Stealer,